Being Me
by PoisonIvy32
Summary: "He was killing me. I could feel myself slipping away. I tried to shift but I couldn't. All I could do was pray I wasn't going to die. Not now. "Why are you doing this?" I cried out. "Because you need to understand the pain you have put me through!" He yelled back at me. I tried so hard to shift into my wolf form, but I felt myself dying. But the pain was suddenly gone."
1. Chapter 1

_**Being Me**_

_Chapter 1_

Has someone ever told you to run away? Go right ahead and run away because it is fun? You have no one telling you what to do. No one telling you what is right and what is wrong. No one yelling at you. No parents. No nothing. A fresh start. Well don't.

Well don't ever run away. Ever. It sucks. I know this from multiple experiences. And this time is different. I don't have my wolf to defend me or help me catch prey. My wolf is gone. After I gave her up, she left me.

But, as I was saying. Running away, don't do it. It has been close to 7 years sense I have ran away that night. Away from Scott, Damon and Logan. Away from my life to start a new one. And ever sense then I have had to steal, to find shelter. It really does suck being human, but I can't go back to my life as a wolf.

I ended up in Maine. It was probably the last place anyone would look for me. I mean, who ever thinks of Maine? No one. At least I never did. And I really like Maine. It is really beautiful and full of small towns.

I ended up in this small town. I bought a little cottage that was in the town. It was like a 5 minute walk to the school, to the grocery store, to the gym, to everything. And I really did like small towns.

You are probably wondering where I got the money to get the cottage. Let's just say that the guy I took it from was not a very nice man and I was a very bad girl.

The sun was high and bright, no cloud in sight. It was a beautiful day in this tiny town. I loved it here. It was a good fresh start for me. I might even consider starting school. Maybe. If I feel like it. I have an eternity of going to school. I don't want to rush it yet.

I walked into town, going to the nearest coffee shop. Walking inside, I ordered a smoothie and sat down in a window table, watching the outside world.

I wish I could have done this sooner. Before everything that happened with Logan. Before I had met Scott. It would have been nice to give up the pack and come here with my family. To actually be a family and not be surrounded by wolves.

I took a sip of my smoothie and grabbed a newspaper on the table next to me, opening it and looking at the top news stories.

I was never one to read a newspaper, but if I was going to live in the 21st century, I had to get the loop of things.

**(AN: I know years are passing between books. It is for sure 2012 in this one. So sorry if I am confusing you at all. But I realized what I was doing and yea. =P) **

'Death toll grows in Wisconsin wolves. No note on the source.'

My heart dropped a little. These could have been my wolves. But I set the paper down, not wanting to know more. It had honestly been years sense I thought about them. So many years have passed without a thought and I don't want to start thinking about them now.

I looked out the window and kept drinking my smoothie, watching family's pass. I looked outside, seeing a bunch a teenagers pass.

All together, there were 7 teenagers, 4 boys and 3 girls. All the girls were hanging on a boy. Only one was stuck a little bit behind the group yet totally involved with what they were doing, like he was the one in charge. They started walking towards the coffee shop I was in and walked in.

"Hey mom," I heard the lone boy say as he walked up to the counter and kissed the woman behind it.

"Hi honey. How was the beach?" She asked him, looking at his friends going to sit down on the other side of the shop.

"It was beautiful. We are probably going tomorrow," he said, kissing her again on the cheek and walked over to his friends.

I starred at them carefully, watching them with interest. I wanted to see how they acted. How they lived in this world without and super human powers. I just wanted to see how they were being human.

The lone boy looked over at me, locking eyes with me. I looked away quickly, looking out the window and taking a big drink of my smoothie.

"Hey guys, I'll be right back," I heard the guy say. I heard footsteps getting closer and closer to me. I hoped, prayed, that he wasn't coming over to me. But I never got my wish.

He pulled up a chair, sitting on it backwards, and smiling sweetly at me. "Hi," he said to me.

I looked at him, nodded, and looked back outside.

"This is a small town and I know everyone. I mean everyone. And I know you are not a local. I'm Collin," He held out his hand to me to shake. I looked at his hand and then looked at him.

"Alex," I muttered, shaking his hand quickly and then pulling away. He laughed.

"So, Alex, what bring you to Maine?" Collin as me, looking completely interesting in my story.

"Um. My, um, parents were killed in a car crash and I came here to live on my own. I need a new start," I told him, trying to smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry that happened," He said, frowing. I shrugged. "They say everything happens for a reason right? I find this as an experience that I will never forget. Yes, I am completely overwhelmed living by myself, but this had to had happen for a reason."

Collin gave me a look and nodded. "I see. Well, if you ever need something to do, call or text me. I'm always here to talk to," Collin grabbed a napkin from the table next to us, quickly grabbed a pen from the front counter and ran back over and wrote down his number for me.

"Thanks," I said, taking the napkin. "I will be sure to call you if I need anyone to talk to."

Collin smiled at me and then walked back over to his friends. They looked so happy. Like there was nothing in the world that would ruin their day. I smiled at this, got up and walked out of the coffee shop.

I could tell I was going to like this place. And hopefully, no one will find me here.

**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! **


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

The more I stayed in this town, the cuter it gets the cozier it gets. But I kept to myself. Everyone knew each other here and yes I did get weird looks, but I went to the store to get myself food and then went home.

There was also more teenagers here than I ever thought there would me. It was summer for them and all over them were either at the beach or in little shops in town or something.

I usually sat outside my cottage, sitting on a little porch swing that I built myself. I would sit there, watching people pass by and wave at me nicely and I just waved back, taking a drink of juice I had in my hand or a soda.

The night time was especially the best here. The nights were cool but just enough to walk around without freezing to death.

Tonight was a full moon and I walked out of my house around midnight and went to the beach. I walked across the sand, the moon high in the sky.

I stop walking, my bare feet just at the edge of the water. I stuck my hands in my hoodie pocket and looked up, watching the moon.

If I could, I would shift and howl, but all I could do was stand here are marvel at how beautiful this was. I walked back up the sand a little bit and sat down, watching the waves hit the shore line.

I heard teenager laughing in the distance and I looked to my left to see a bon fire far in the distance and tiny figures running around and laughing and having the time of their lives.

I smiled and looked back out towards the ocean. Right now, this was the best moment of my life. I have forgotten about everything that has happened. About what I was or am. About everything.

"What are you doing out here so late?" Someone asked me. I turned to look to see Collin standing above me, smiling.

"I just came out here to think," I shrugged.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked me, already sitting next to me.

"No, I don't mind," I muttered, actually wanting to be alone.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked me, looking out towards the ocean. I looked at him, the moon shinning off his smiling face. He almost looked transparent. The moon made him look beautiful and I looked away from him, biting my lip.

I was not going to get involved with anyone. Never again. I couldn't.

But there was something about Collin. Something that drew me to him.

"So what are you doing out this late?" I asked him, looking at my hands.

"My friends are throwing a bon fire over there, but it's not really my thing. I mean, the bon fire is, but the drinking and doing drugs, that is totally not my thing," Collin chuckled.

"Really? I thought every teenager did that," I asked him, sounding old fashioned.

"Only the dumb ones. Which I guess means all of us because we all do it at some point," Collin sighed.

"Well I haven't," I told him, smiling. He turned his head to look at me.

"Really?" He asked me.

"I come from a family of, well, let's say strict. My parents were very strict. Super nice, but strict. I wouldn't have ever been able to get away with stuff like that. And I really never had the guts to try. I was just a good girl," I shrugged again and dug my feet into the sand.

"Well I think that is cool you haven't. That will keep you sane. Don't ever do it," Collin said, frowning at me.

"I will remember that," I laughed, looking back out towards the ocean.

"Good. Now, what else can you tell me about yourself? Where are you from?" Collin asked, leaning back on his hands.

"I am from Wisconsin. I left a lot behind to come here to get a new start and I am glad I left there," I told him.

"Wisconsin, eh?" He laughed.

"Shut up. Not all of us talk like that! It more northern when you get the hicks and other people talking like that," I laughed back. It felt good to laugh. To feel free. To not worry for once in my life.

"Well, I think it's cute," He told me. I quickly look at him, his eyes on me, a smile soft on his face.

I took my change and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Tell me about yourself," I told him.

"I have a younger brother names Ben. Smart kid. He gets into a lot of trouble, like blowing things up. He is a science nerd and loves the shit, but blows a lot of things up. I am going into my last year of High School. I am a straight A student, on the football team and baseball team and on the side I play the drums in our marching band," Collin told me.

I moved my head to look up at him and chuckled. "Marching band? Really?"

"Hey, don't laugh. We are really good. You should come watch us sometime. Come to a football game this fall," He told me.

"Maybe I will," I told him, only I didn't know a thing about football and what the purpose was of it.

I suddenly heard a wolf howl, long and loud. It was close. And the scary thing was, I felt like I knew that howl.

I quickly sat straight up and looked behind me, afraid to see green eyes looking at me, staring me down.

"You okay? Scared of wolves?" He asked me.

"No, that's not it. I just… nothing," I told him, looking back towards the ocean and then up towards the moon. For the first time I felt my wolf inside me wanting to get come out, but she was gone. I knew she was.

I stood up slowly and looked down at Collin.

"I should probably go home," I told him. I started walking.

"Wait! You can't walk home by yourself this late! Let me walk you home," he told me, running up next to me.

I just nodded, letting him walk me home.

We didn't talk much on the walk. It was actually kind of awkward. But all I could think of was the howl. That one howl, which was so close to us and sounded so familiar, sent chills up my spin.

"You okay?" Collin asked me as we were walking.

"Yea. I'm fine," I muttered, walking stiffly, waiting for something or someone to jump out at us.

Collin just sighed. I chuckled to myself. He was trying so hard to get to know me and I was making it difficult. But I couldn't tell him everything. Not about the wolves or where I was actually from and who I am. I couldn't do that.

We walked to my house and he stopped me at my from door. "Well, it was nice getting to know you a little bit," he smiled.

"Yea. It was nice getting to know you as well," I told him, smiling, biting my lip.

"Are you going to be going to school this fall?" He asked suddenly.

"I hadn't really planned on it," I admitted to him, looking at the ground.

"Well you should. It would be nice to have a cute face around," Collin told me. I quickly looked up and smiled at him.

"Not enough cute faces at your school?" I joked around. Collin frowned.

"All of the girls at my school want me. But none of them are for me. Like, i have a lot of good friends that are girls but none that I consider more than friends. But, maybe someone else," His voice got quite as he looked at me.

"Look, Collin. I am not looking for a relationship right now. So, I am asking you, right now, to be my friend. Even if we have to be the closest friends in the world. I just can't be in a relationship right now. Maybe in a few months, but not right now," I told him, looking around me.

"No, I get it. We are friends. And I will not let you down buddy," He punched my shoulder and I laughed.

"Yea, well, thanks for walking me home. See you later," I opened the door, and walk inside.

I close the door behind me a smile on my face. Turning on the lights I walk to the kitchen table.

And there was a note.

I looked at it, my breath stopping. The only words written on it were 'I'm coming for you.'

**PLEASE REVIEW! That's all! Oh, and if you haven't checked out the pictures of the characters, I have those up on my page! Go check them out! I already have Collin up. And yes, he may look familiar but I thought he was perfect! **


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

All I could think about was that note. I was being watched and it had to be Logan or Damon. Possibly both. I was freaking out. I couldn't take on both of them. Not with my wolf gone. Yea, I was half vampire but I haven't used that side of me for anything. I hated my life.

I sat on my couch, staring at the note. The sun had risen and I hadn't gotten any sleep. I was afraid that if I closed my eyes I would see Logan's face. That smiling face that would pull me in again. Like he had before.

I jumped as someone knocked on my front door. I slowly stood up and walked over and opened the door, squinting at the sunlight.

"Whoa, you don't look so good," Collin told me. I moaned.

"Collin, what are you doing here?" I asked him, turning around and walking back to the couch. He walked inside and shut the door. He turned on some lights and I shielded my eyes.

"Alex, you really don't look good. Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked me. I fell onto the couch, my face first.

"I'm fine," I said into the couch. "I just want to be alone right now."

"Hey now, friends help each other out. I want to help. Come on. Let's go out and I'll show you around the town a bit. I know you haven't been to most places," Collin patted my back and tried to get me up. I moaned as he pulled me up.

"Fine, but I am coming home and being alone after this," I hissed at him. He chuckled, thinking this was funny.

I just rolled my eyes and walked outside, letting him lead me towards the town.

"Collin, Please. I don't want to be out long," I said, looking around me, looking for Logan or Damon.

"Alex, come on," Collin grabbed my hand and pulled me into the coffee shop where we first meet. He took me up to the counter where a women was standing.

"Mom, this is Alex. Alex, this is my mom," Collin said. She smiled at me.

"Nice to meet you Alex. I hope you are liking it here," She told me. I just nodded, smiling uncomfortably back at her.

"I am. Thank you," I told her. Collin looked at me, his face full of happiness. He was just a happy fellow wasn't he?

The door rang and I turned to see all of his friends walk in all laughing, all the girls hung on guys and I looked away. Collin frowned a bit but turned and high fived some of his friends, leaving me at the counter with his mom.

"He sure is popular, isn't he?" I asked her. She laughed.

"Yea, he is. But he is a good kid. No matter what his friends do, he always knows the right thing to do. He gets that from his father," She told me.

I nodded and looked back at them. The 3 girls were staring at me, these look on their faces and Collin was talking to one main guy and that guy was staring me up and down.

"Tell Collin I went back home please?" I asked his mom. She nodded, understanding. I walked out of the coffee shop into the fresh air. But I wasn't going home. I found myself walking to the beach.

Yea it was packed but I need to walk and think.

Kids were all around me, playing in the sand and dogs were running up and down the beach playing.

I bend down and take my shoes off and started walking again, feeling the sand between my toes.

This gave me time to think. Who was watching me? And who was coming for me. It had to be Logan and Damon. It just had to be them. Who else would it be? It couldn't be Scott. He was harmless. And he wouldn't find me. He knew what I wanted and I wanted to be by myself.

The ocean was beautiful, the waves hitting the shore. I stopped just at the edge of the water, watching the waves and the ocean turn.

"Why did you leave?" I heard someone call behind me. I closed my eyes. Of course he would find me.

"Because you were with your friends. I didn't want to be a bother," I told Collin.

"You're not a bother," He told back to me.

"No. I can see I wasn't wanted. It's fine. I like being a loner anyway," I muttered, still watching the waves.

Collin got closer to me to try to explain that I didn't have to be but I pushed him away. That what I was best at. Pushing people away.

"Alex," Collin said. I just shook my head.

"Collin. Please. I know you wanted to show me around, but I can't right now. I just need to be alone. Go find your friends and hang out with them. Have a good time. Don't worry about me. A girl you barely know," I started walking away from him, leaving him standing there breathless.

I was a horrible person, but I couldn't get involved with Collin. Not yet at least. Not until I knew I was able to stay here for a while and wasn't going to be found. But that doesn't seem to be turning out alright.

**Break**

I was back in town and I walked into the local store to pick up some food. My cart was full of food and I checked out, and as I was leaving I saw the girls that Collin hangs around with.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as they were walking towards me.

But I was surprised.

"Need help?" One of them asks me. She smiled sweetly at me and grabs a bag from me. The other two had these look on their face like they wanted nothing to do with me.

"Um, no. I can get it," I said, taking the bag back, walking through them, and towards my house. But the girl who tried to help stayed next to me, walking, the other two behind us.

"I'm Ella, by the way," She told me. I just nodded, wanting her to leave.

"Ella, back off," I heard one of the girls hissed at her.

But Ella ignored her and stayed talking to me.

"Alex, right? I would stay away from Collin if I were you. Just a fair warning," She told me, her voice very full of warning.

I stopped walking and looked at Ella. "And I am warning you and your friends here to stay away from me. I don't care about you, I don't care about Collin. I could care less about him right now. He is the last thing on my mind. Yea, he may attract all the girls at your school but he doesn't attract me."

Ella smiled at me. "I like you Alex. I think we will get along."

"Ella. Shut up. Collin will want us back," the other girl said. Ella shot them a look and the smiled back at me.

"Alex, you seem different. I really do hope we become friends someday," She nodded at me and the walked away with the other girls. I watched them walk away from me and I rolled my eyes.

The sun was going down and by the time I got home, it was gone and I walked into a dark house. I shut the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen in the dark. I set the stuff on the table and flipped on the lights only to have someone turn them off and cover my mouth.

I struggled against the arms around me.

"Shhhhh," I heard in my ear but when I heard that voice I struggled even more.

"Alex, stop, now," he told me. I breathed hard but I stopped struggling.

"How the hell did you find me," I hissed at him.

"It's not what you think. I'm not here to kill you. I didn't leave that note. I am here to protect you," He told me, letting me go.

I turned around to smack him but he stopped me, only smiling.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Same old Alexandra Mercer."

"Get out Logan. I left for a reason. I found a new home for a reason," I told him.

"Is that why you gave up your wolf? You know you could still feed on a human and become a vampire?" Logan smiled at me.

"Tell me why you are really here," I growled at him.

"To protect you, like I said."

"From what?" I asked him. But Logan just shrugged, being cocky and not telling me. He walked past me and out of my home.

"By the way, I bought a home and I will be living right outside of town."

"You didn't bring your pack, did you?" I asked him as he left. But he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Not my pack anymore," he whispered and was gone.

**WHHHHAAATTT? Just review and Chapter 4 will be up soon! Love you all! All of my fans reviews make me smile! I almost want to cry every time I read them because I didn't know anyone liked my stuff this much! LOVE YOU ALL! **


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

For 7 years I was running away from him. I need to get away from him. And now he found me, probably following me when I didn't even know. And he is claiming he is here to protect me? Bull shit.

I paced around my house, screaming and throwing things around. I was surprised no one came to check on me.

I fell to the ground, landing on my knees and wrapping my arms around my body, rocking back and forth. Maybe I should just kill myself to save me from this pain. This constant running and being afraid for my own life when I should just take my own life.

I walked over to the kitchen and opened the knife drawer. I figured it would be hard to kill myself sense I was pretty much half vampire, but it was worth a shot.

I held the knife by my heart, my hand shaking. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill myself.

"Alex!" Someone cried and tackled me, throwing the knife away from me. I just laid on the ground, giving up.

Someone was on top of me, looking in my face but everything was blurry. I didn't want to see who was here. I just wanted my old life back. Where my parents were still here, with my brother by my said annoying the hell out of me.

"Alex, what were you thinking?" the person asked me. I blinked twice and saw the Collin was in my face, staring at me.

"I-I," I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him I was a werewolf who doesn't have her wolf anymore and now is pretty much half vampire with a hybrid thing out there probably watching him on top of me and wanting to kill him.

I pushed Collin off of me and got up.

"I, um, just, nothing," I muttered, picking up the knife and putting it back. Collin sat on the floor looking at me like I was crazy.

"Alex?" He asked me, getting up and walking towards me.

"I screwed up, okay? Everything is shit now. Everyone I care about if gone and now he found me and I just can't take it anymore!" I cried, covering my face so Collin didn't have to see me cry.

But he didn't care. He pulled me into a hug and I cried into his chest.

"Alex, I told you, I will be your friend. You can tell me anything. I am here for you," Collin said into my ear.

I just stood there, crying into his chest. How much more could possibly go wrong in my life before it goes back to normal. I have been around so long and this is not what I had hoped for.

"Will you tell me what is bothering you?" Collin asked me in a hushed tone.

I looked up at his face and shook my head. "I can't. At least not yet. I need to know first that I can trust you."

He smiled. "Of course you can trust me."

I backed away from him. "I've trusted too many people in my life only to have been stabbed in the back by them. If you are another one of those people, so help me god I will come for you."

Collin held up his hands. "Alex, seriously, you can trust me. I am not going to hurt you. I promise."

But I still didn't believe him. There was something about him that my sense were picking up on. Something not right. Something… supernatural.

I backed away more, whipping the tears from my face. "I think you should go."

"And risk you trying to kill yourself? Not happening," Collin said.

"I wasn't going to kill myself!" I yelled at him. "Please leave!"

I pointed to the door as I told him nicely to leave, but he stood his ground.

His face was full of concern and I crossed my arms.

"Alex, please. Don't shut me out," Collin told me.

"Collin, I haven't known you for very long and I can shut you out all I want. You don't know me, and you don't know my life. I have bigger things to worry about than your little crush on me. Please, I just need time. Time to figure things out."

He just nodded. "I get it. I totally get it. Fine. I'll leave. Find me when you need a friend. I will always be here," He walked past me and out into the cold night air.

I stood there, a wave of anger coming over me but all I could do was stand there, watching probably my only friend I would ever have here leave without another word.

**Break**

Logan was hiding. It had been days sense he made his appearance to me and I was glad. But I knew he was there, keeping an eye on me.

It was a Tuesday, all the teenager were back to school now and I took the advantage of walking out of my house into the sun and walked through the town. It was peaceful without the teenagers around. Nobody running around. No screaming. It was very nice.

I walked into the coffee shop and sat down at the counter where Collin's mom was whipping it down.

"Long time no see," She said smiling at me.

"Yea. I'm the type of person that doesn't come out much," I told her.

She laughed. "Hey, I totally understand. A person coming from probably bigger towns than this, I could see them staying inside and hiding."

I smiled at her. She was really nice. And I felt comfortable with her.

"I'm Julie by the way. I never got a chance to tell you my name," She held out her hand to me.

I nodded. "And you know me. Alex."

She frowned and was looking past me. I turned to see Collin and his pack of friends walking towards the coffee shop.

I turned back to face her, giving her this look on my face.

"Hide in the back. They never go back there," She winked at me.

"Thank you," I told her, walking around the counter and going through the door into the back room.

I heard the door ring and I heard laughter.

"Hi mom," Collin said cheerfully. I heard him kiss her on her cheek and then walk over to their table they usually sit at.

I slide to the floor, sitting down and closed my eyes, using my improved hearing to find out what they were talking about.

"You guys have a half day, or what?" She asked them.

"Fire at school. They let us all go," One of the girls said. It sounded like the girl named Ella.

"Ah. How bad?" Julie asked them. I heard her walk over to them and set something down on the table they were sitting at.

"Bad enough where school is canceled for like 2 days," a guy told her.

She walked back behind the counter. But there were different footsteps I could hear. Coming closer. I curled closer in on myself, wondering who could possibly have gotten up.

"Collin, what are you doing?" Julie asked her son. He was walking towards the door I had to get through to get to the back room. He was going to come back here.

I looked around for another hiding spot but there was nowhere to hide. It was just a storage room.

"I just want to check something," He told her.

But she stopped him. "No customers allowed in back Collin. You know that."

"But I am not a customer, mom. You know that. I practically own the place with you. Come on. Move," Collin pushed her out of the way and pushed his way through the door. I bit my lip, watching him enter the room and go to a shelf to grab to a box.

Once he turned around he would see me. Great. Just fucking great.

He blew the dust off the box and turned around and came to the dead stop, his eyes on me.

I waved to him only to see him start laughing.

His mom came through the door and grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him out of the room. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, humiliated at what had just happened.

"Take your stupid box and get out of here. You guys have a council meeting, don't you?" She asked them. I perked up. Council meeting? What was this?

"Mom, don't worry. I'm sure the elders won't go too hard on me. I'm your strong baby boy remember?" He kissed her goodbye and they all left.

Elders? You've got to be kidding me. No. This was not happening.

I stood up and walked back to the front.

"I, uh, should go," I told her. "Thank you for letting me hide back there. It almost worked."

"Anytime," She smiled at me and waved goodbye.

I walked out of the shop and broke into a run I was running after Collin and his friends. I had to find out what they were doing.

But I was stopped. Logan was in front of me in a heartbeat, grabbing my arm, and dragging me the opposite direction.

"We need to talk. Now," He hissed, dragging me towards my house.

"No! Logan! Let go of me! I need to follow them!" I yelled at him, crying to break free of his grasp.

Once he got me home and threw me onto the couch and went to lock all of the doors and windows. He looked out of them occasionally like a mad man.

"Okay, tell me what the hell is going on right now or I swear-" He cut me off.

"You'll what? Shift and take my head off? Be both know you can't Alex so give it up. Just give it up being tough. We know you are but you are mostly human now. You can't hurt me," Logan walked over to me.

"I can't?" I asked him, trying to sound surprised.

He shook his head. I stood up, getting close to him. And in a split second I brought my hand back and slapped him across the face. The slap made him stumble back, leaving a red mark on his pretty hybrid face.

"Did that hurt? No? Let me try again!" I yelled at him and took another step towards him only to have him push me to the couch.

"Logan, you have no idea how much I just want to strangle you right now," I screamed at him.

"Shut up and let me talk Alex!" He screamed back louder. I shut my mouth and crossed my arms.

"You are not safe here," He started. I rolled my eyes. This was complete bull shit. He was complete bull shit.

"Yea, because you are here. I found one place. I found one place that I love and you had to ruin it for me!" I yelled.

"I wasn't the only one who was going to ruin Alex!" Logan yelled. I gave him a look.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. "Is Damon here too? Is he out to get me now?"

"No. Scott is," Logan muttered. When I heard that name it was almost like a slap to the face. Scott. The man I loved and ran out on to be alone. To live a normal life for all eternity.

"What do you mean? What about Scott?" I asked him.

Logan shook his head. "After you left he went crazy trying to find you. He came to me and blamed it all on me how you ran out. He doesn't know you don't have your wolf anymore. He doesn't know how vulnerable you are now. But he went ballistic. Like, complete balls fury on me and the pack. He found a way to get control of your precious Damon and took the pack himself. I was kicked out of the Alpha spot by my own brother. A vampire."

I looked at the ground and then back at him like he was crazy. "Your brother. The nicest guy ever, the person I loved, went crazy, took the pack for his own and is now out to get me? You are full of shit!" I stood up screaming at him.

Logan didn't say anything.

"He thinks you left him for me. Just like before. It's stupid. I knew you loved him. I was stupid to try and kill you. Alex, I've changed. You probably have heard that before, but I have. And Scott is planning something terrible. At least for you, that is." Logan told me.

"And what could possibly be worse?" I asked Logan, crossing my arms.

"He plans to bring our father back from the dead."

**Please Review! And sorry if this chapter was a little cheesy and kinda out there. I stay up late to type the chapters all the time. It's 1:40 in the morning right now. So, enjoy. More is to come. I bet no one saw what was coming at the end there. PLOT TWIST (; **


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

I fell to the ground, landing on my knees. Nigel was coming back. Or Scott was planning to bring him back. I was dead for sure. Maybe that was good. Maybe if I died, I could be free of all this bull shit going on in my life.

"All I wanted was a normal life. Sense Nigel was killed, my life changed and it has gotten worse," I sighed and stood back up and started rushing the door.

"Whoa! Where do you think you are going?" Logan was in front of me before I made it to the door.

"I am going to find Scott and beat the shit out of him before he does something stupid," I hissed at Logan, trying to push him out of the way.

"Alex, you can't. You are pretty much a weak human now. Besides your half vampireness, but that doesn't help you at all. How will you fight him with your wolf gone?" He asked me.

Right now I regretted letting go of my wolf. She was a part of me as much I was a part of her and I missed that part of me. I missed shifting whenever I could. I miss running around and feeling the wind through my fur.

"Logan. Can you leave me be for a little bit? I need to think. I just need to think," I told him, trying to push him out of my house. He gave me a look but only nodded. He left quietly, shutting the door behind me.

I almost lost it, but I held in my emotions and made my way to the window, opening it and sneaking out. Logan was somewhere watching me and I had to make a break for it and find Collin. I need his help.

I broke into a run, running for the coffee shop. The whole time I thought about Scott and what I have done to him and how this is my entire fault for leaving. Again.

I ran into the shop to find Collin sitting there with his friends. I was full of sweat from running and they were all laughing and having a good time but as I entered they shut up and looked at me, their faces frowned.

I walked over to him, head held high and looked at Collin. "Can I talk to you?" I asked him. He just nodded.

I narrowed my eyes. "Alone?"

He sighed, getting up. "I'll be back guys. This won't take long."

But as he left, one of the girls pulled him down into a kiss. I rolled my eyes. She was trying to make me jealous. It would take a lot more than that bitch, I thought to myself.

Collin smiled slightly and followed my out of the shop.

"Is there any place we can go that is super privet?" I asked him.

Collin held up his hands. "Whoa now. I didn't know we were taking out relationship that fast. Let's slow down, maybe hold hands first," He told me.

"Collin this isn't a joking matter. I am being serious. We need to go somewhere where absolutely no one could possibly hear us or get in," I told him.

He frowned but nodded. "Follow me," He said. He started walking towards the back of the coffee shop. I just followed, looking around me, trying to find Logan. But maybe it wasn't Logan I should have been looking for. Scott was looking for me too. And Damon. I bit my lip and walked a little bit faster after Collin.

There was a door in the back that led to an underground basement of his mom's coffee shop. He pulled out some keys and opened it, gesturing me to go first.

I walked down and I crossed my arms. It was cold down here. I looked around, trying to get a handle on my surroundings.

Collin shut the door and we were in complete darkness. Until he turned on the lights.

I was surround by boxes of stuff. "What is all of this?" I asked him.

"Family history stuff. Nothing important. Now what did you want?" he asked me. I walked over to a box marked dad.

"Is this your fathers stuff?" I asked him. He walked over to me and blocked me from the box. But something about it intrigued me.

"Alex. Start talking. Why did you want to talk to me?" Collin asked me.

"It's about you and your pack of friends," I started off, not looking at him. I walked around the room and noticed another box that had chains hanging from it. And as I got closer, I could sense the silver. I backed away from it.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He walked over and grabbed the chains. How? How could he pick them up without being in pain?

"They are just chains Alex," he shoved them back into the box and shut it.

"I know what you guys are," I told him. He looked at me, his eyes a little wider.

"What do you know about us," he stepped closer.

"You travel in a pack. They all have someone to hang on but you don't. I know a wolf pack when I see one Collin, don't think I am stupid. You know what and who I was the moment I set foot in town. Every pack knows who I am," I told him.

Collin sighed. "Was is that easy to figure out?" He asked me.

"Well, you guys are so easy to pick out. I am surprised you keep it a secret from the humans," I told him.

"It's not that hard when you keep your pack small and selective," he said, walking past me. "So is that all you wanted to talk about? That you figured me out and I know who you are already."

"What exactly do you know about me?" I asked him, quite curious what others had heard about me.

"I heard you are fearless. That you are strong willed and will never back down from anything. When I saw you that first day, I know right away who you were. I could smell your wolf all over you. It was hard to believe someone like you could be here. And alone."

I leaned against the wall, listening to him. "Why are you in town, anyway?"

"I ran away. I lost my pack, my friends, my family. I couldn't afford to lose anything else. So I ran," I muttered to him.

"I am surprised I haven't found you lurking around. Your scent is only in town, not in the woods. If I were you, I would hate being human for so long," He said.

I bit my lip, closing my eyes. Being human for so long. I didn't feel human. Not even close.

"There is a reason I am not changing," I told him, opening my eyes and looking at him.

Is eyes got big and round and took a step back from me. "No. You didn't."

I nodded. "I gave her up. When I ran away, I wanted a new life. Everything that had happened to me, I just needed a fresh start. A normal, fresh start. So, like an elder, I chose my path. But I regret so much. Especially for what is coming for me. And that is what I need to talk to you."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to bite me so I can get my wolf back," I told him.

He shook his head. "It can't be done Alex."

"How do you know?" I asked him, pushing myself off the wall and getting in his face.

"I've tried it on several elders that had changed their minds. Every one of them I tried it on, died."

I felt my body crumble. There was no way of getting my wolf back? This was a disaster. A complete disaster.

I covered my face, trying to hide the tears from Collin. He pulled me into a hug.

"Alex. What is coming for you?" He asked me in a whisper.

"Our worst nightmare," I choked out of my cries. Collin rubbed my back, telling me everything was going to be alright.

But I wasn't listening to him. I was looking at the box that was marked 'father.' I quickly pushed him out of the way.

"Alex, that is my personal stuff," Collin yelled at me. But I tuned him out and pulled the box open. I pulled out a picture of his dad, only, the picture was of my dad. My father. Who is dead.

I looked from the picture to Collin. "This is your father?" I asked quietly. Collin only nodded.

I turned my attention back at the picture. I was positive this man in the picture was my father. "What happened to him?" I asked Collin. He clearly had no idea who this was to me.

"He died a long time ago. My mother said he died fighting for our pack. That was before I was born though," Collin said.

I started at the picture, trying to figure out why my father was Collin's father. "How old are you? Like, how long have you been around?"

Collin sniffed. "I lost count. It's somewhere around 220 years, something like that."

I bit my lip. "When is your birthday?" I asked him. I closed my eyes, hoping he would say something different.

"November 7," he told me. I opened my eyes.

"Alex, why are you asking me these questions?" He asked me, taking a step towards me. I took a step back, looking at him carefully.

Now, things were completely screwed up. This boy, right in front of me had the same birthday as me. Had the same father as me. Only, he didn't know what I now know.

He and I were twins. Well, fraternal twins because were looked absolutely nothing alike, but we were family. And he had no clue.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

So Collin was my brother. He didn't know, and I stood there in his basement, a loss of words because I didn't know what to tell him.

"Alex? What is wrong?" He asked me, grabbing the picture from me and looking at him.

I just shook my head. "I have to go," I said, backing away from him and bolted up the stairs and out into the open.

I didn't know where I was going, but I made my way to the ocean and fell to the sand, landing on my knees. Tears started building in my eyes.

I had family. But how is this possible? This couldn't be possible. How is Collin my brother? What did my father not tell me? Why is my whole life screwed up and now a big lie?

I sat there crying, all alone and lost. I had no clue; absolutely no clue what to do anymore.

Someone sat next to me.

"Logan, leave me alone," I sniffed, turning my head away from him.

He moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I quickly stood up and walked away from him without saying a word.

"Alex, what is wrong?" He asked me. I turned around, getting in his face.

"EVERYTHING IS WRONG LOGAN! MY WHOLE LIFE IS WRONG! EVERTHING IS WRONG!" I screamed at him.

He was surprised how loud I had screamed at him. Anyone would have heard me.

I shoved myself away from Logan, walking down the beach, just trying to get away.

"Alex, you shouldn't be alone," he told me. I shook my head, trying not to listen to him. But he trailed behind me like a lost puppy.

His presence was something I did not want. If Scott was coming to kill me, I just wanted him to do it already. I want this to be over with.

"I am fine by myself. I have been sense I left. If you wouldn't have showed up, I still might have a chance at a normal life," I told him, still walking.

"He already knew where you were though, Alex. You would not have been safe!"

"Then I would run away again! Possibly out of the country! I just want you guys out of my life," I told him, braking into a run, just trying to get away from him. Trying to get away from all of this. It is just too much for one person to handle. All of these people who turn out to be something they are not.

I ran past groups of people, all of them staring at me. I would give anything right now to be a wolf again. To run free through the woods without a worry.

That's when I heard a howl. And then more followed. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could tell what that howl was. It was grief. Something happened.

I looked up towards the hill and I saw a wolfish figure sitting there looking at me. I shivered, knowing it was Collin staring at me. I looked around me and people were still walking past, not noticing him or the howls. It was like they were all used to it

I looked back up at Collin and he was gone. I continued on walking, walking off of the beach and back towards my house. It was really the last place I wanted to go because I knew Logan would be there, but I need sleep. I need to think.

But I stopped again, sniffing around me. Something was very wrong. Very wrong indeed.

If I could shift right now, I would because I knew the scent I was smelling. I knew it too well.

Someone had suddenly tackled me, hands around my throat, my air cut off.

I tried to kick him off of me. Tears were filling my eyes.

He was killing me. I could feel myself slipping away. I tried to shift but I couldn't. All I could do was pray I wasn't going to die. Not now. "Why are you doing this?" I cried out. "Because you need to understand the pain you have put me through!" He yelled back at me. I tried so hard to shift into my wolf form, but I felt myself dying. But the pain was suddenly gone.

I breathed in, coughing hard. Turning onto my side, I saw a wolf wrestling with Scott.

"Stop! Stop!" I yelled at both of them. They still fought and suddenly Logan was there and pulled Scott away from Collin.

But Scott wasn't trying to get to Collin. He was trying to get to me. His face was furious and it was this side that I have never seen before.

"You left me. You and I were supposed to be together forever Alex. You betrayed me!" Scott screamed at me.

I looked at Scott, my eyes sad. "I left to get a new start, Scott. I couldn't be around that stuff anymore. With everything that had happened. I needed a normal life. But it seems now that will never happen.

Collin shifted and looked at me. "You and a bloodsucker? How is that possible?

"How is anything possible Collin? Maybe you should ask your mother more about me to see what she has to say. She will have lots to tell you," I told him.

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

Scott was still struggling in Logan's arms. I looked through all 3 of them. "Just talk to her Collin and find me later? I need to talk to these two in privet."

He frowned and stared at me. It was like I as speaking a different language. But he finally walked away, his head down and hands in his pockets.

I watched him leave and once he was gone I looked back at Scott and Logan.

"Come on," I said, motioning towards the house.

Scott pushed Logan away from him and followed me into my house.

He sat himself roughly on my couch and looked around the place. He started chuckling and looked at me, his smile breath taking.

"You really know how to pick the places Alex. I knew you would like small towns, small houses. I thought you would have been smarter and chose a big town with a lot of people," Scott told me, stretching out his arms and laying them across the back of the couch.

Logan walked in and shut the door, making his way to lean against a wall. I rolled my eyes.

"Scott. Why did you come looking for me?" I asked him.

"Because you broke my heart Alex. I lost you before. I wasn't going to lose you again. But, this time, when you left, something in me changed. I knew I can live without you. I have before. And if I couldn't have you, no one could."

"You are a selfish bastard," I hissed at him. He just smiled.

"Though, I'm not the one to hurt their pack, their friends, and their loved ones," Scott stood up and was in my face. "I am also not the one to give up with wolf. You are a helpless little girl now and when he comes for you, you will not survive."

My eyes grew wise. "What are you talking about?" I asked him.

Logan pushed himself off the wall and pulled Scott away from me.

"I'm talking about my father. I found out how to bring him back and he is coming here to get his revenge. Well, I should say Logan found out and was going to bring him back, but I did the honors for him," Scott said.

Scott was on his father's side. Just like before.

I backed away from both of them. Logan was the same person and Scott was just as worse.

"Get out," I hissed at both of them, opening the door. "I want you both to leave. Before I do anything stupid."

Scott laughed and pulled away from Logan and got closer to me. His chest was against mine and he was in my face.

"Make me," He hissed.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "You think I'm that stupid?"

I moved quickly, pulling out a gun I had stored and pointed it at Scott. "Get out of my house now."

Scott frowned and blinked twice. In this split second, he looked like his old self. He looked like the Scott I knew. But a second later, he came at me.

I shot the gun and he fell to the ground. "Wooden bullets. Now get out before I put one in your heart."

Scott looked up to me. "You would never do that. You still love me too much. As I love you."

I watched him closely. He stood up and walked past me and out the door.

Scott was still in there. Just like before. I just had to find him.

**Ugh. I am so so so so so so so sorry this is SO LATE! School has been holding me up and I had the worst writers block ever, but I am back and hopefully will update more often! PLEASE REVIEW! **


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

I quickly ran around my house, packing what little I had. I needed to get out of this town. I needed to leave again. Like always.

I grabbed the one bag I had and quickly opened the door to have Collin standing in my face.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, pushing me back into my house. I tried to get past him but the shut the door.

"Collin. Please. Don't make me angry. I need to leave before your pack gets hurt," I told him.

"Hurt? You haven't heard? Two of mine died last night. That Scott kid is really crazy," Collin told me, walking around me in circles.

"He didn't used to be," I muttered, looking at the ground, closing my eyes.

"Alex. What is up?," Collin said.

I shot my head up to look at him. "Why do you care? Why should anyone care?"

Collin held his hands up in surrender. "Look, Alex. If something is coming for you, I want to help. Anything I can do."

"Wait, you said two of your wolves died last night?" I asked him. He only nodded.

"I figured it was that Scott kid, seeing as he almost tried to kill me," Collin looked down at the bag in my hand.

"No, not possible. Scott may have changed, but he doesn't kill wolves. He doesn't. It had to be someone else," I told him, biting my lip.

"Okay, well let's change the subject. You told me to ask my mother about you? Why would I talk to her about you?" Collin asked me.

"You really don't know?" I asked him. He shook his head. I rolled my eyes, grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the house and towards the coffee shop. I barged through the door to an empty shop and pushed Collin down in a seat at the counter.

"Mom?" Collin asked for me because I walked to the door to lock it.

His mom came out from the back and looked at both of us. I gave her a look. She stopped in her tracks. She knew something was going on.

I walked angrily to the front. "Tell him who I am." I told her. She knew just what I was talking about. If he and I were twins, this women had to be our mom. Unless she had been lying to him his whole life.

"What do you mean?" She asked stupidly.

"Please don't act dumb. You know who I am. Why were we split up?" I asked her. She looked at Collin to me.

"I don't know where to start," She said.

"Mom?" Collin asked, standing up.

"Collin, Alex is more than a friend to you," She told me. Collin looked at me and then back at him mom.

"She is your twin sister," She told him.

Collin's eyes got as big as saucers and I just stood there my arms crossed. "Okay, you told him. I want to know who my real mother is. Is it the women I grieved over when she died, or is it you?"

"She is your real mother," she said, looked away from me and just stared at Collin. He was looking at the ground, trying to take all this in.

"Both of them came to town. They were drawn here, just like you were Alex. This was their home. But something ran them out of town and they left almost everything. They just, didn't take Collin with them. They told me that there was a destiny for both of you and you both were to meet later in life, when you both need each other the most. I don't know what they meant. I thought they were crazy for leaving you, Collin. They were crazy about you kids. You both were the light of this tiny town. But, there was something that scared them more than anything. So, I looked after Collin and Alex, you went with your parents," She paused and looked back and forth at both of us.

I tensed up and sniffed the air. Slowly I turned and see Scott staring through the window, smiling at me. He had just heard everything. I knew he had.

Collin turned to, smelling Scott. I heard Collin start growling and he started walking towards the door but I stopped him.

"Not yet. I have things to tell you, now that you know who I am. And you aren't going to be happy about any of it."

Collin looked at me. He just smiled.

"You think this is funny?" I asked him.

"What I think is funny, is that I tried hitting on you when you got here and you were actually my sister. We must be a messed up family."

I smiled and laughed. I hadn't laughed in a long time and as I was laughing I looked over through the window to see Scott had vanished. I frowned and looked back at Collin.

And I started telling him my story. Everything. Starting when my parents, I mean our, parents had died.

[Break]

"So now he's coming back for you," Collin said. He was referring to Nigel. I told him everything. It took about an hour to get through the whole story.

"Yep. And he is going to kill me if I can't find a way to get my wolf back," I told him.

Collin bit his lip. His thinking face was funny. It looked like our fathers. It was weird to see so much of my parents in Collin now that I know who he is to me. It was like they were there with me, helping me with my life.

"Biting you will be our last option, Kay?" He asked me. I just smiled and nodded.

I heard the bell on the door to the coffee shop ring and I look over to see Collin's friends walk in and sit by their usual table. He got up and walked over to them, leaning his hands on the table and was telling them something.

They all looked past Collin and were staring at me. I sighed, stood up and walked towards the door, leaving Collin with his friends. I spent enough time with him anyway.

I walked back towards my house to grab my bag. I was still running away. I couldn't involve Collin and his pack in any of my stuff. That wouldn't be right of me.

"Where do you think you are going to go?" Logan suddenly was next to me and walking with me.

"Away from here. Far away. Maybe a different country," I told him, thinking of all the possibilities.

"They will still find you," Logan told me. "Our father has many friends."

"Well, I will keep running. I have been for a long time and I can keep doing it. Seems like the only thing I am good at," I told Logan. I opened my door and walked right for my bag that I had left.

I turned only to have Logan touch his lips to mine. His lips were soft but I could feel his intensity though-out his body that was pressed against mine.

I felt tingling through my lips and I smiled, wanted more. I kissed him back, dropping my bags and wrapping my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist, pulling me even closer.

I pulled away from him and smiled. "What is wrong with me?" I asked him.

"Everything," Someone answered for him. Logan and I both turned our heads quickly to see the door wide open and Scott standing there, his face blank.

Before Logan and I had time to move, Scott pulled his arm back and punched his brother in the jaw.

"That's for kissing her," Scott yelled at him as Logan fell to the floor. Scott brought his foot back and kicked Logan in the side.

"And that is for everything else brother. I can't wait to see what father has planned for you," Scott looked from Logan up to me.

His eyes were sad, betrayed, and lost. His eyes were screamed 'help me.'

"Scott-," I choked out but he just walked away without a word. I stood there staring into space as the love of my life walked out of my house, planning his revenge on Logan and probably me.

**You like? Please Review. Sorry again for the wait. But more is coming. And, I am working on a different story as well. That one should be up in the next few days. Please let me know if you will check it out because I am writing this new story on a re-occurring dream I have been having as long as I can remember. Thanks! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME! **


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

I ran over to Logan and helped him up.

"Are you alright?" I asked Logan. He coughed up blood and looked up at me, smiling.

"Never better, love." He stood up and walked towards the door.

"I better go after him. Alex, you need to stay, Okay? Don't leave just yet." Logan was gone in a flash.

I stood there, alone. I was alone. And I was scared. I really was. I was scared of what was going to happen to me. I was scared of what was going to happen to Collin or Logan. And most of all, I was scared of what was going to happen to Scott. Scott was still in there somewhere. I just had to get him back.

I walked out of the house and to the coffee shop.

"Alex. Good to see you again. What can I help you with?" Collin's mom asked me.

"I need to know if there is a way to get my wolf back," I told her. She frowned at me.

"I honestly don't know if there is? I gave mine up long ago. I have been fine without it, but I had never heard of someone giving up their wolf and then getting it back. Collin has tried on many different people, trying to get their wolves back. They all died."

I put my hands to my face, rubbing it.

"Down in the cellar, behind the coffee shop, I noticed a lot of boxes with my parents stuff in it. You said they left some things behind. Do you think I could take a look through the boxes to see if I can find answers?"

She nodded. "Sure, go right ahead."

I give her a smile. "Thank you so much."

I run out of the shop and go behind it and into the cellar where Collin had taken me. I shut the door behind me and locked it. I didn't want anyone coming it.

I started looking through all the boxes, trying to find any journals or anything that my parents might have left behind so long ago.

Everything was faded or rotted. This stuff was so old, it should be in a museum.

I made my way to the back and I noticed a book that caught my attention. It looked so familiar. I pulled it out and dust flew off of it.

I sat on the ground and opened it to find the story or our ancestors. I already knew the story of out ancestors and how we came to be.

I flipped through all the pages, trying to find anything that would help me.

But as I was going through all the pages, I noticed, around page 73, there were about 4 pages missing. I stood up and looked all around where I had pulled the book out.

This was puzzling. I opened the book back up to page 73 and saw several words that would be my answer to everything. "Regaining Your Wolf- Next Page"

My heart skipped a beat. The pages were in here, but someone had ripped them out. Tears filled my eyes. I had come all of this way to find a book with the pages ripped out.

But this book. I remember it. I remember it from my childhood. I remember sitting on the porch my dad had made with his bare hands and I remember my dad curling me up on his lap as he read me the story of our ancestors. The story always fascinated me when I was a child. I never remember this part of the book, but I remember he read it to me at the house, that was in Wisconsin.

I had to go back and look for the book.

I unlocked the cellar and ran out, running back towards my house. I got inside and shut the door behind me.

"What's up?" I heard. I jumped, my hand flying to my chest.

"Collin, you ass hole, don't scare me like that. You know the danger I am in right now," I told him.

"Sorry, sis. But really? What's up? What is the rush?" He asked me, pushing himself off the couch.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked him.

"Not long. You weren't home, so I made myself comfortable, waiting for you to come. But really, what is up?"

"I need to go back home," I told him.

"What?" He asked me, his eyes getting wide.

"Yes. I need to go back to Wisconsin. My home. I have the answer I am looking for. I found a book that my father had left behind, the one about our ansestors? Well, I remember him reading the same book to me back home when I was a little girl. The one I found in your cellar had 4 pages ripped out that tells me how to get my wolf back, but I couldn't find them. So I have to go back home and look for them."

"No. Alex, that is too dangerous. What if Nigel is there waiting for you?" Collin asked me.

"That is a risk I am willing to take. I can't stay here anyway. I have to leave. I am putting you and your pack in danger. Plus, I already think Nigel is here. If I leave, he will probably follow."

Collin watched me pace back and forth.

"Well, if you are leaving, I am going with you. You are my sister. I would never leave you. Even if you weren't my sister, I would never leave you. We are in this together now. This is my problem too. I will put someone else in charge for me for a little bit. I can protect you Alex. Please. I want to help you," Collin's looked so afraid for me. He wanted to help. How could I say no to him?

"Collin. You might die. I can't let that happen," I told him.

"Whether you like it or not, I am coming with you," Collin got close to me.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. But we will have to leave, like right now. I don't want Logan or Scott following me."

Collin nodded. "Way ahead of ya. I am already packed."

He pulled out two bags from behind the couch and smiled at me.

I sighed and nodded. We were doing this. We were going back. I could show him my home. What it used to be like. What it looked like, if it still looked the same. I just hope I could still get on the land.

I grabbed my bag and Collin and I left the house. He had his car out front all ready and we got in and he drove away.

Looking back on the small town, I smiled. It was a cute town. I would have loved it here if it wasn't ruined by two vampires.

I turned back forward and closed my eyes, falling asleep.

"_Finally you are asleep. You need to get more sleep, Alex." Josh told me. _

_I got up from the ground, looking around me. "Josh? What am I doing here? Am I dead?" _

_Josh laughed at me. "No, silly. I am trying to help you. I don't have much time."_

_I looked at Josh. "What?" I asked him. _

"_Be careful going back home. The book is there, but there is more danger there than you might realize." _

"_Josh, I know it probably has changed over the years, I am not stupid. I still be smart and careful." _

_Josh shook his head. "There are new wolves there. Scott controls all of them. I don't know why, but he does. There are new wolves, ones who don't take kindly to trespassers. A lot of the old wolves gave up their wolves and live in the town. Contact them. They will help you get in. They know every nook and cranny of that place. Find Bryn. Alex. You can't just walk in and take the book." _

_Josh's eyes got wide. "I can't stay any longer. Find Bryn. She will help you."_

_Josh was suddenly gone and I was left alone. But I felt a presence. _

_I slowly turned around and a hand went around my neck. _

_I looked into the face of Nigel. His smile was piercing and I struggled in his grip. _

"_You are weak Alex. You are going to die. And I can't wait to kill you." _

_He screamed as he broke my neck. _

I jumped awake, looking around me quickly, my hand going to my neck.

"You alright?" Collin asked me.

We were still driving. I sat back in the seat and nodded.

"Yea. Just a dream," I told him.

I looked out of the window, watching the world go by. In my mind I heard wolves howling. My pack. From way back when they followed me. From back when my parents were alive. Back with everything was happier and nothing was wrong.

I tensed, seeing a sign saying "Welcome to Wisconsin". We were almost there. And I was not ready at all for what we were planned to do.

**What do you think? I am so so so so so so sorry for not updating. School got in the way and family stuff got in the way. I hope this was an okay Christmas present for you! Please Review! Merry Christmas!**


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

Collin parked the car outside the hotel and he got out, grabbing out bags. I slowly got out, looking around. The little town I knew had grown. There were more people, there was a mall, there were hotels, there was just…more.

I bit my lip, and followed Collin to the front desk of the hotel.

"Welcome to the Holiday Inn. How can I help you?" The lady asked us at the desk.

"Do you have a 2 bedroom suit?" Collin asked. I watched her carefully. I silently sniffed the air. It was all too familiar. And the women reeked of wolf. She didn't seem to notice us at all. Like she was in her own little world.

"We have one room available. It's $207 a night," she told us. Collin nodded, agreeing that we would take the room.

She rang us up the room and handed us our keys and pointed to where we had to go.

Collin quickly wrapped his around me and lead me away, taking me to the room. We quickly opened the door and shut it, locking it behind us.

"She reeked of wolf! I can't believe she didn't notice us. How dumb is she?" I asked myself, smiling. Maybe these wolves weren't so smart.

"Alex. We have to be careful. We can't let our guard down, you know that." Collin threw our bags onto one of the beds and he plopped himself, face first, next to them. "I need sleep," he moaned into the bed.

"How about you get some sleep and I will take a look around," I said, walking towards the door.

Collin was quick. He was in front of me, his hand on my hand as it reached for the door handle.

"Don't you think about it sister. If you leave, I leave. We are doing everything together, whether you like it or not."

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. Then follow me. I will show you what used to be my home," I opened the door and walked out into the hallway and started towards the front entrance of the hotel.

Collin followed close behind me, watching my every move and everything around us.

As we got outside, I put my hood up over my head to hid my face and put my hands in my pockets. This part of town used to be all woods. If I remember correctly, this was the part of town that Scott used to live in.

I looked at Collin and held out my hand.

"Car keys please? I want to drive."

Collin slowly got them out, I stuck my tongue out at him and I got into the driver's side of the car.

I pulled away from the hotel and drove to the old part of the town. The part of town I knew.

"That there, is the school I went to for about 2.5 seconds. I met Scott there," I said, pointing to the school on the right.

Collin sniffed, looking at the school as I drove past.

I drove into the little down and I parked the car.

"What are we doing?" He asked me as I got out of the car.

"Trust me. I know what I am doing. Just follow me," I told Collin.

I still had my hood up as I walked down the sidewalk. From what I remember was that all the wolves of mine who gave up their wolves, they tended to stay together. We had a place in town that we would meet, catch up. I had no clue if they still used it, but it was worth a shot.

I walked around the corner of a store and ran across the street to a bar. I looked to see if Collin was still following.

He ran after me. "Really, where are we going?" He asked me.

I just smiled and motioned towards the bar. "In there. Trust me."

"How do you know it is still the same? After all these years?" He asked me.

"It had been the same for 200 years prior. I don't think it would have changed," I told him, going into the bar.

I walked up to the counter and sat at the stool, pulling my hood down. Collin stood behind me like a body guard.

"Can I help you?" The guy behind the counter asked me, looking at me weird.

"Yea. I'm actually looking for someone," I said to him, looking at him. I took a sniff. He smelled of wolf. Or, at least there was a little scent of it. I look towards the door behind him.

"Who would you be looking for?" He asked me, blocking my view.

"Bryn? I was told she would be here." I told the man. His face got soft and smiled.

"Well, if you said you were looking for Bryn, why didn't you say so? She is in back. But be quick. I don't want them coming in here," The man motioned for us to come around the bar area and through the back door.

I got up and walked around, Collin still right behind me.

"She should be right back there," The guy smiled at us, nodded, and then shut the door behind us.

I looked at Collin. "You're in charge. I am just following."

Sighing, I walked forward. I walked into an open room with about 8 people in it. Every single one of them I knew. And Bryn sat there, in the middle of all of them.

As she saw me, a smile grew on her face. "Alexandra Mercer, as I live and breathe. Is that really you?"

I smiled back at her. "It really is me."

She stood up, walking over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I have miss you so much. I honestly thought you were dead. I would never have thought you would leave us."

I pulled away and looked at her with sad eyes. "I know. I didn't want to leave. But I have no choice. I had to. But it's over with. I am here now."

Bryn frowned at looked at everyone behind her.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, looking at everyone.

Bryn walked away from me and sat back down.

"What is she doing here?" I heard. I turned around to see Damon walking into the room. He walked past me and sat down.

I watched him. It was Damon. He looked the same as he did when I last saw him. His green eyes were still as beautiful.

"We haven't asked her yet," Bryn told him. I looked at Collin. Collin looked uncomfortable, but he still stood there, looking strong.

"This your new boyfriend?" Damon asked me. "You seem to have guys on you every time I see you."

I narrowed my eyes. "He is not my boyfriend. He is my brother."

Damon gave me a weird look. "It's a long story," I told him. "I just need your help."

I looked at Bryn.

"Bryn. I really need your help. Please," I begged her.

Damon stood up and answered for her. "No. We aren't helping you. Knowing you, it will probably cause on of us to die."

I felt tears filling my eyes. They were my last chance.

"If you don't help me, I am going into that old house blind. I have no clue they that pack is still there or not. I need to know and I need your help."

"You can handle yourself. You are a wolf after all," Damon hissed at me.

I took that like a blow to the face. "You really don't know, do you?" I asked him softly.

"What?" Damon asked me, getting in my face.

"She's not a wolf you moron. She gave it up," Collin told him, talking of the first time.

Damon looked at Collin and then looked at me. "Is that true? You gave up your wolf?"

I nodded. "I did it after you were made a hybrid. After all of that shit Logan put us through. I thought it would change my life. I thought I could run away from it all. But both Logan and Scott found me. Scott is planning to bring back Nigel or has brought him back and that is why I am here."

Damon looked at me, his eyes wide like I had slapped him in the face.

"Nigel is coming back?" He asked me softly.

"Yes. And I am here for a book my father had left in the house. I need it in order to get my wolf back and to defeat Nigel. Now please, I am begging you guys. Help me."

Damon slowly nodded. I hugged him. "Thank Damon, thank you!"

He pushed me away from him. "I am only helping you get this book. Then you are on your own."

"That's all I asked," I told him. Damon walked out of the room and into the bar.

But as he did, Bryn had a worried look on her face. She never did tell me what she was worried about. And by the look on her face, it might have something to do with Damon.

**Please Review! **


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10 _

**Just a note for the beginning. I know I have probably disappointed you in the past year with no updates, but I have been through so much. It was my last year in high school and I meant to update, but I was so busy. But it's summer now and I am ready to finish this out (: Please stay with me! I PROMISE I will finish this! Enjoy! **

Damon sat next to me in my car as we drove towards the old house. Bryn sat in the back with Collin. It was awkward. Bryn sat close to the door and Damon sat there, his hands folded in his lap, his head down.

I gripped the wheel hard, almost breaking it. Damon seemed the same. Maybe a little more reserved and grumpy. But he seemed like himself. But he was a hybrid. I had to know.

"Is it easy?" I asked him.

Damon looked up at me. "What?"

"Being a hybrid? Is it easy? I always think about what I would have done if I would have drank human blood that day and became a hybrid."

Damon looked out of the window, shrugging. "I'm so used to it now. But in the beginning it was hard. I was honestly not myself. Logan had complete control over me. He sort of… saved me in a way. I know you probably think I'm stupid for saying that, but he did. Being a hybrid is no different than being a wolf. I can still change on my own. I can still do all of the things that I was born with. But they are only enhanced. I thought I would have to feed on blood. I don't absolutely have to. Every now and then you have to, but it doesn't have to come from a living person. I actually hate attacking people to get blood. I just attack animals. It's pretty much the same thing. A little bitter, but it works. At least for me it does. Everyone is different. I found that out from Logan and others."

"Others?" I asked him. He turned around to look at Bryn. I looked at Bryn in my rearview mirror. She bit her lip and looked down at her hands.

"Logan has turned a handful of others. He wanted a pack of hybrids. He said he was preparing for something big. Something that we all had to be ready for," Damon looked at me.

I stared straight ahead, trying to take in what Damon was telling me.

"Alex. If you don't want to get caught, you might want to pull over here and walk the rest of the way," Damon told me.

I shook my head and slowly pulled over, coming to a complete stop.

Damon got out of the car, along with Bryn.

"Do you really believe him Alex? I don't trust him," Collin told me as they shut their doors.

"He is all we have to get that book so I can get my wolf back. Collin… I need my wolf back. You have no clue what it is like without your wolf. It is a life of misery. I feel like I have lost myself. I am not myself without it."

Collin just nodded and got out of the car. I followed, shutting the door behind me and taking in a deep breath. This was the woods I remembered. At least this part of town wasn't torn down.

"We were lucky that they didn't tear this part of town down," Damon said as if reading my mind. "They wanted to keep something of the woods and they kept this. Funny… like they must have known about us or something." Damon shrugged and all of a sudden shifted, walking ahead, making sure the way was clear.

Collin shifted as well, staying close to my side. Bryn walked next to me, her head down, kicking stones.

"Bryn, what is bothering you?" I asked her. She just shrugged and walked ahead of me. I looked down at Collin who was quickly watching back and forth for anything that might attack me.

As we walked, I thought about if I really wanted this. If I really wanted my wolf. Maybe I should just let Nigel kill me and have this all be over with. When he killed me before, I should have went with my family. But instead I am too stupid and stayed, only to cause myself more trouble.

A crack of thunder clapped above our heads. I looked up and noticed clouds covering the sky. I smelled the air. It was definitely going to rain. Damon shifted back to him human form.

"Okay. I have an idea to get you inside. I'll bring in Collin and to them you are just a human. So pretend you are lost. I'll let you in, you can spend the night and while they sleep you can search for this book. You really are just a human to them. Nobody in there will know you. Everyone from the original pack as either stayed a wolf for good or has chosen to stay human. So you are safe," Damon stopped and turned towards me.

The rain started to fall and I stood there shivering. Damon chuckled and the looked at Collin. "Follow me."

Collin whined a little bit. I looked down at him and smiled. "Collin. Go with him. I'll be fine."

He showed me his teeth and then padded after Damon and Bryn. I stood there in the rain, watching them go. I sighed. What if I ran away now? Did I really need to go through all this trouble to get a damn book to get my wolf back?

A strike of lighting lite up the sky. The sound of the thunder made me jump a little bit. I started walking towards the house. I haven't been here in forever. I never really wanted to come back. Once I get that book I am leaving.

I see the house in my view and I sort of smile. It still looks the same. Even through the rain, I could see where I would sit on the roof on full moon nights and stare at the sky and think. I could see the porch swing where I would sit and wait for Scott.

Scott. I shook my head. I couldn't think about him right now. I just couldn't. No matter how much I still loved him, he's gone.

I walked up the stairs, onto the porch and knocked on the door.

"Hello?" I called. "Is anyone home?"

A few seconds later, a girl answered the door. "What?" She asked not very nicely. But I smiled.

"My car broke down during the storm and my phone is dead. Could I come in and use your phone?" I asked her.

I noticed her flash he wolf eyes at me. Something a human would not notice but she kept doing it. I narrowed my eyes at her. If only she knew who I was.

"Marissa. What is going on?" Damon came up behind the girl and looked at me.

"She said her car broke down and her phone died. She wants to use our phone to call someone," Marissa said to Damon.

Damon looked from Marissa to me. "It's alright Marissa," He frowned, trying to come up with something to say. "The phone is not working though. A power line must have gone down in the storm. But you can spend the night if you want to. The woods aren't really safe at night, especially in a storm."

"Thanks," I replied.

Marissa sort of growled. "Damon. He won't like that."

Damon shot her a look. He walked closer to her and whispered something in her ear that I didn't catch. She gave me a look and then walked away.

"What was that?" I whispered at him.

He just shrugged it off and I followed him upstairs.

He led me to my old room. Damon opened the door. "Nobody had been in here since you left. They respected the great Alex too much to mess with it. Wait until about 2 in the morning and then go look for you book and get out of here."

I watched Damon close the door behind me. I turned to face my room. It was exactly the same as when I left it. I looked out the window to see strikes of lightning overhead. I was here because of a book. That's all. As soon as I get my hands on that book, I am leaving. I am leaving Damon, I am leaving this pack and I am leaving Collin. Collin didn't need to be dragged into my shit. Though, he might be already if Nigel finds out he is my brother.

The door opened and Collin walked in. I sat down on my bed, my back to him.

"You alright?" He asked me, sitting next to me, looking out the window.

I nodded slightly. "Yeah. Just busy thinking, that's all."

Collin nodded and looked at the ground. "Pretty interesting pack. They are like nothing I've seen before."

I gritted my teeth. "I know. That's because they are all half vampire and half werewolf."

"What?" Collin asked, standing up quickly.

"Logan figured out how to make half vampires and half werewolves out of my pack. Though, I think he made them choose. Most of my original pack has moved on. These are all new people who don't know me. But they are all monsters. Something I should be," I muttered.

"Alex. You are not one of them." Collin told me, kneeling down in front of me, rubbing my knee.

"Collin, you realize if I would have drunk human blood, I would be what they are? If I drank human blood now, I would become a vampire. After all these years, that could still happen to me! I hate what they all are! I hate it. If I ever became what they are, I would not be myself. I know that for a fact. I see it in Damon so fucking much! I want my wolf back. I want my old life back. I want my parents back. I want Scott back," I blurted out.

Tears were now rolling down my face. This wasn't me. But I have held it in for long. It just all came out at once and I couldn't stop it.

Collin pulled me up off of the bed and pulled me into a hug. "Alex. I have only known you for so long and I can tell you that you are amazing. Anybody can see that you are meant for great things. And as your brother, I am here to help you find those things. We are going to do this together. No matter what."

That made me cry more. I couldn't drag Collin into this. He has too much of a good life to be dragged into mine.

I pushed him away. "Collin," I sniffed. "When this is over and I get that book, I am leaving. You need to go back home and leave me. Forget about me. You can't find me, you can know where I am. I can't risk having Nigel knowing who you are and end up killing you. If he is out there, he probably already knows everything about you. It has turned into the worst situation and you can't be dragged in more."

"But I don't want to go home. Alex, you are my home now. Anywhere my sister goes, I go. I don't care about this Nigel guy. I don't care what he can do. Alex, no matter what, I am sticking with you till the end." Collin stood his ground.

I bit my lip and just took a deep breath. Collin walked across the room and sat on a chair. He ran his fingers through is hair.

"I'm beat," he said. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.

"Collin. Get out of that chair and sleep in the bed. I'm not tired," I told him, walking over, pulling him out of the chair.

"You sure? You should really get some sleep," Collin said.

"I'll be fine. I know I won't be able to sleep. I'll wake you up when I need to look for the book," I told him.

Collin nodded and flopped himself onto my bed. He dug his face into the pillows and was out cold in a matter of minutes.

I sat down in the chair, watching the lightning light up the room.

I closed my eyes and out of my surprise, fell asleep.

_Run. I had to run. I had to get away. That's what I was doing. _

_My legs felt weak and my body was cut up from running through woods. I didn't know why I was running, but I was running from something. _

_Something black out of the corner of my eye came at me and made me trip and fall to the ground. _

_I covered my head, fearing for my life. I couldn't do anything. _

_Someone grabbed me and pulled me to my feet, pinning me by my neck to a nearby tree. _

"_You are dead. Don't even try to fight," Nigel hissed at me. I struggled in his grip. Behind him stood Logan, Scott and Damon. All the men in my life that have made it the best and hell at the same time. _

_I felt tears rolling down my face. "Why do you want to kill me so badly?" I asked Nigel. _

_Nigel laughed. "Did you hear that guys? She asked why I want to kill her so bad." He stopped laughing and got in my face. "You know exactly why I want to kill you so badly." _

"_Is this all because I killed your son all those years ago? Get over it old man. It was one son. You brainwashed another. You are good to go. Why do you want me? There has to be more than that," I spit at him. _

_Nigel let go of me. I fell to the ground, rubbing my neck. I didn't even try to run. I sat there on my knees. _

"_Your wolf is gone. You can't do anything without it. You are useless. I could kill you any time I wanted. But, I've been thinking. Maybe, just maybe, I turn you. If I put human blood in your system, you would turn. I know you would not be the same person. I could use you as a weapon. My own weapon of destruction. You would be better than Scott ever will be, just because of who you are," Nigel smiled and looked down at me. _

_I sat there, taking all this in. He wanted to use me as a weapon. But for what? _

"_Why a weapon? Why would you need me? And how do you know I wouldn't turn against you like Scott did once?" I asked him. _

_Nigel frowned at this. "Why I need you as a weapon is for me to know, and you to find out when you are needed. And to make sure you don't turn against me, I have my ways. Logan is still on my side and he is the one responsible for biting you and turning your half way. He will have control of you and I have control of him. Every vampire made is tied to their maker. So, either way, you are mine." _

_I lunged at Nigel, grabbing for his throat. Scott made the first move and he pulled me away from Nigel. _

"_I will kill you before you have a chance! I will rip your head off and make sure you never come back! Even if that's mean killing them in the process!" I screamed at all of them. _

_Scott grip tighten on me. Nigel got up and growled at me. "You just wait Alexandra Mercer. I have a lot in store for you." _

_Nigel walked off with Damon and Logan at his side. _

_Scott still held onto me. I tried to get out of his grip but he wouldn't let me go. _

_I felt his lips touched my ear and then I heard him whisper something in my ear. _

"_Help me." _

"ALEX! WAKE UP!" I heard someone yelled. I opened my eyes quickly and lunged at whoever woke me up.

I was on top of Damon, my hand on his throat, my face in his.

I back up off of him and got against a wall. "Sorry," I breathed.

Damon looked at me startled. He got up quickly and motioned towards the hall way. "Come on. Let's find this damn book and get you out of here."

I followed Damon and Collin out of the room, but all I could hear in my head and Scott's voice. Scott's voice saying Help me. Scott was still there. I knew he was. Even if that was a dream, it felt real and Scott needed me more than ever. Once I find this book, I am getting my wolf back and I am killing Nigel again and I am making sure he says dead this time.


End file.
